Thursday, August 5, 2010

Did someone ask for a train wreck?

What a week it has been since my last ramble to everyone. My blood sugar has gone so far out of control that I have been scared out of my mind. I wrote last week about the sky rocket I had over 600 mg/dl (33.33 mmol/l) well the rocket had to crash and boy did it ever crash. In the last 6 days I have hit the bottom of our stability level over four times. What I mean by this is on four occasions I had my blood sugar drop to a wonderful 72 mg/dl (4 mmol/l). Let me tell you those are scary times when your body starts to shake uncontrollably as the sugar plummets and you feel like death is knocking on your door saying “Why Hello John, are you ready to come see me today?”

Hypoglycemia is a scary event for a Diabetic. The symptoms range from trembling and palpitations to hunger and irritability. These are just the early warning signs if the brain starts to get deprived of sugar they get a lot worse. These range from difficulty thinking and confusion to seizures coma and even death. How does that sound? Is it sufficient enough to get your attention tonight? This is the never ending battle of a Diabetic, balancing the amount of Insulin we take to keep our blood sugar in the “normal” ranges and yet avoid taking a cliff dive to our last breath. This all comes into play with me because I am what they call a “Brittle” Diabetic, meaning that my body is no longer properly accepting the insulin I am providing it. I have blood sugar swings that are massive and unpredictable even on the insulin.

Well after last week when Meredith and the kids were in Chicago visiting her father, I found out that it is not really safe for me to be home alone. Ha! I am 33 years old and cannot be trusted to be home by myself lol this is a sad thought. After passing out due to the high blood sugar I bottomed out several times also. Sunday night I had called for Meredith, they were home at this point, because I did not feel right and needed some help due to lack of focus at this point. We learned a valuable lesson this night as Meredith said she would be there in a minute due to working on some laundry, well when she got in the room I was half passed out convulsing in the chair. She very quickly found my emergency glucose tablets I have in the house and got me awake enough to take one. As it started working and I was becoming more aware she had prepared a Peanut Butter sandwich to try and get me some carbohydrates for sustainable sugar in my blood.

On Monday I went to see my Neurologist for a check up on my Neuropathy and he has changed the dosage of my Neurontin and wants me to see another Doctor who can assist in my Diabetes planning and control in more of an expert opinion than my current PCP (Primary Care Physician). Well I went to go speak with the new Doctor and was advised that he could accept me as a new patient but I would have to fully leave my current PCP. Can we say instastress? I mean my current PCP has been in that role as long as I can remember ever having a Doctor. He has always taken care of me and my parents and now my wife and children. I have to leave a PCP that feels like family to me, cause he has literally watched me grow. Well needless to say my glucose decided that it did not want to play the stress game and as I was talking to the nurse my speech started to slurr and my thoughts started to jumble and my sugar took a nose dive off the cliff once again. Thank God I was in a Medical Clinic and they had Orange Juice available, I came to a realization while I was coming to my senses lol my realization was that I felt pathetic.

I apologize to everyone for the length of today’s posting. I have a lot more to say and I want to explore the feelings a little more as they are a very important part of a Diabetics life as we must always live with our disease through the good times and bad. For a type 1 diabetic it is a marriage with no chance of Divorce, or maybe a Life sentence in Prison. We will get into some of those thoughts and a continuation of the week review tomorrow, for tonight I wish you all a great night’s sleep and a wonderful Friday morning ahead of you.

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you John. I have learned the hard way that these health issues are scary. I have also had times that I have felt pathetic, just this week, in fact. My husband was explaining to a case worker for the department of rehabilitation that I have declined badly this year, and have gotten to a point that he usually has to even help me open soda bottles. They made the decision that everything I do carries a risk. I had to make some decisions that had nothing to do with pride and dignity. Marc told her that he didn't feel safe for me to be alone when he is gone to work. I felt pathetic. However, we both need to remember that we are NOT. For some unknown reason, we have these challenges in life. We need to take them up in prayer and know that each day that we get up and go on with our lives in spite of our challenges, we are winning the battle for the day, no matter what our health issues present to us. You are stronger than you know, John. You have continued to persevere. You are reaching out to others. That in no way ever is pathetic.