“Riff-raff, street rat, I don’t buy that. If only they’d look closer. Would they see a poor boy? No siree they’d find there’s so much more to me“
Have you ever felt this way? What if we change the lyrics a little? Overweight, lazy, I don’t buy that. If only they’d look closer. Would they see a Diabetic? No siree they’d find out there’s so much more to me. You can insert any disease or affliction you have into those lyrics, are we truly what our issues make us? Sitting at your house sulking over whatever ails you will never get you far in life. Does our life have a chance of being more, yes it does!
We get up every day to face a world that seems to never understand our issues. We take that first step off the bed and have that instant sensation of pain shoot from the bottom of your foot to the top of your head, the cringe that follows, and the possible muscle spasm all from stepping on something… no all from just stepping. We do not have to step on something to have pain it is just there day in day out, it wakes us in our sleep and sometimes (a lot for me) prevents us from sleeping altogether.
I got into a debate this evening with someone over pain levels as they stated I seem to be in a lot more pain lately. This is sadly true, it has been discovered that the Gabapentin that was dulling the pain of the Neuropathy was making my Diabetes worse at the same time. On the medication I averaged a 360 mg/dl (20 mmol/l) off the medication I am averaging a 135 mg/dl (7.5 mmol/l). The problem is I now bottom out into a hypoglycemic state daily. So on the meds I have a high BG and low pain, off the meds low BG but HIGH pain so which life is better.
Back in January I stated I was going to take a break due to everything and I needed to really find myself again. I have come to a point where I know the Neuropathy and the Diabetes are out to end me, but I will not back down and let it win. I must fight because I have too much in this world worth being around for to just give up. Where do you see yourself in your daily battle with this disease?