Today was an interesting day; I made it through a complete day of work without too much pain. I had to talk with my human resources representative to set up a new break schedule to accommodate my current needs with pain management. I work for a company taking technical support phone calls. Well this requires me to sit for 2 hours at a time and by the time my first break arrives I am in pain. So thanks to my new friend called Neuropathy I have had to get a medical exemption for work allowing me to take smaller breaks so that I may get up and move around.
I would love to say this is the first time my job has had to make a concession to accommodate me with my medical issues; unfortunately it is not the first and at the rate of growth I am experiencing with my new found friend I fear it will not be the last. They already allowed me to come home so that I could work from my house handling our calls. This became an issue when the ability to drive safely came into question; having 5 near accidents in one month on an interstate is never good. I was driving 43 miles one way to and from work every day so I came home. I do my job and I do it to the best of my abilities. I am not meeting goals now as I have to take longer time to work on files, and I fear this is an area that exceptions will not be made in and I fear losing my job eventually over this. My doctor, my wife, my parents and my friends all think I should apply for disability, but I do not want to give in to a disease. I am not going to allow the Neuropathy define me, I will define the Neuropathy!
I have wondered if I chose the right background for my blog page as my wife did tell me it seems to dark. After reviewing my choice I have decided it is fine. This background was the best way I could express my pain in a visual format. The dry parched land represents my life broken up by the Diabetes being attacked by Neuropathy in the form of the lightening. Leave me a message telling me what you think of the background is it to dark or does it explain things to you?
Personally I like the background, I think of pain as lighting , fast, shooting electricity and can knock you on your keister pretty darn quickly =) as for the disability. I had a hard hard time being ok with accepting needing to go on it. It does not pay great for everyone I will say that much, of course each person is diffrent etc etc.. but after I had been hospitlized twice in 6 months for depression /attempted suicide I had no choice. I haven't worked outside the house in about 8 years, being a parent is a job though, n with my daughter having special needs Im never sitting and doing nothing =)P I dont see disablity as "letting the disease, issue etc win" kudos to you for working so long I know it can't be easy. I see disability as a "respite" a break, Im finally stable enough I could try to work part time, but its taken me 8 years to get there. Also look at the other side of the coin this is what I had to do with disability income.. if you're unable to work for whatever reason, that is why that type of privalage is there. It does not make you lazy, weak, a bum , or any of those negative things ppl like to toss out there. It means that for whatever reason, you are unable to perform your job at 100% capapbility even with accomodations. It means your body is saying "no more I can't take it" and you need to listen to your body, because if you don't you could make things worse rather than better. What if you did loose your job, then what?? If you're on disability you know that money is coming in every month. You can work while on it too, I just found out about all that.. Social Security does not count the first 85 dollars you make. Everything after that they divide by 2 and that is what they count against you. The person I spoke to said they give you a check it may or may not be a lot but you'll get something. That does allow some flexibility if your job gives it to you, you could decrease the hours you work per day or even days per week if you're on disability. Id love to find a job working from home typing because I can type pretty quick and then I could get up and take breaks when I need to, you can't do that in an office job. Your family n freinds n such care about you and dont want you to put extra strain on your body and your health. Talk to your doctor and make sure you're doing all you can to make your condition better. I just got diagnosed with fibromyaglia this year and I hate it, but the doctor told me to take each day as it comes, rest when I need it, when Im hurting not to push my body to do a lot and when I feel good to do as much as I can. Dont look at going on disability as giving up,but as giving your body time to heal and yourself a break and time to adjust. Once things get more evened out, you can resume working. You say you just developed this condtion, so your body is probaly working overtime to try to deal with it. Don't beat yourself up so much.. for me I look at it this way, my health is too important to compromise on, Im a single mom and I live 3 hours from Gburg all my freinds n my family Im really all my kids have since no one can get here quicker than 3 hours.. if you dont take care of your health John you may not be there to take care of your beautiful wife and kids. I dont mean to be such a negative Nellie but, sometimes thinking of things in that way helps me put things into perspective. good luck. maria
ReplyDeleteIf this goes through I had to do it as anonymous because I don't belong to Blogspot and it refuses to recognize my LiveJournal ID. This is Cait McKnelly.
ReplyDeleteAs a diabetic, although I find your background somewhat gloomy, I can't disagree with it because this is how YOU see it. I tend to view my disease with a little more hope, although it is undeniable that it's a chronic, terminal illness that will eventually end in death. The thing is that how long that death can be put off can be influenced by how well you manage your disease. I state how well YOU manage the disease and not how well the doctor does because diabetes is unique in how dependent treatment is on how well you as the diabetic care for it. No other disease is like that.