“Riff-raff, street rat, I don’t
buy that. If only they’d look closer. Would they see a poor boy? No siree
they’d find there’s so much more to me“ (Rice, 1992) .
Have you ever felt this way? What
if we change the lyrics a little? Overweight, lazy, I don’t buy that. If only
they’d look closer. Would they see a Diabetic? No siree they’d find out there’s
so much more to me. You can insert any disease or affliction you have into
those lyrics, are we truly what our issues make us? Sitting at your house
sulking over whatever ails you will never get you far in life. Does our life
have a chance of being more, yes it does!
We get up every day to face a world
that seems to never understand our issues. We take that first step off the bed
and have that instant sensation of pain shoot from the bottom of your foot to
the top of your head, the cringe that follows, and the possible muscle spasm
all from stepping on something… no all from just stepping. We do not have to
step on something to have pain it is just there day in day out, it wakes us in
our sleep and sometimes (a lot for me) prevents us from sleeping altogether.
I got into a debate this evening
with someone over pain levels as they stated I seem to be in a lot more pain
lately. This is sadly true, it has been discovered that the Gabapentin that was
dulling the pain of the Neuropathy was making my Diabetes worse at the same
time. On the medication I averaged a 360 mg/dl (20 mmol/l) off the medication I
am averaging a 135 mg/dl (7.5 mmol/l). The problem is I now bottom out into a hypoglycemic
state daily. So on the meds I have a high BG and low pain, off the meds low BG
but HIGH pain so which life is better.
Back in January I stated I was
going to take a break due to everything and I needed to really find myself
again. I have come to a point where I know the Neuropathy and the Diabetes are
out to end me, but I will not back down and let it win. I must fight because I
have too much in this world worth being around for to just give up. Where do
you see yourself in your daily battle with this disease?
